The Real reason Tommy lost his Powers
by RevolutionChick
Summary: CRACK FIC. Written at 4 am by Patrick in a Heartbeat and RevolutionChick. You have been warned.


_**The Real reason Tommy lost his Powers**_

It was a sunny, frivolous day in Angel Grove, 1993. Teenagers ran the parks carelessly, listening to their walkmans or accidentally slitting their wrist with snap bracelets. Idiot kids tore the photo paper off their POG coins, and young adults annoyed the living beejesus out of old people with their boomboxes. It was just your average, typical day in America.

In Ernie's Juice Bar, a 15 year old teenager, who was surprisingly muscular and hairy for his age, sat alone at a table wallowing in self-pity; behind him, girls (and boys…O.o) of all ages swarmed around a fellow teenager decked out in green.

"Man…" Jason sighed, "I _have_ to find a way to become the most popular ranger again before him and his shiny tinfoil armor take over the fandom…"

A shrilling, ear-bleeding voice suddenly came from behind him. "Hey Jase!"

Promptly, Jason's head fell forward and onto the hard, wooden table below him. "Is it humanely possible for you NOT to be so happy all the time, Kimberly? Perhaps for a second or two?"

Kim rolled her eyes, pulling out a chair next to her friend. "I see you're still stuck on a certain someone's popularity." She popped her pink bubble gum with a smirk.

"How can I not be?" Jason moped, "The guy comes in for a few episodes and all of a sudden everyone's screaming '_Oh my god! It's the GREEN ranger!' _Forget the supreme Red ranger, it's _all _about _Tommy._"

Kimberly blinked. "Oookay. You need help."

Her words only received a glare from Jason, where she found herself rolling her eyes once again. One could only wonder how she didn't seizure from the act.

"If you're _that _jealous, take his coin out of his backpack."

Jason looked up with demanding curiosity, proving no one but Billy knew a penny about their Ranger powers.

"No one ever actually keeps their coins in their morpher on their belt, Jase, they keep them in handy areas where anyone could steal them."

Jason grinned from ear-to-ear, a red light bulb having gone off over his head. It was genius!

"I got it! I'll replace his power coin," He spun his waist around just as Ernie conveniently came walking by with a tray in hand, "With this!"

Jason snatched an item for his own possession, and of course Ernie shrugged his shoulders and walked away uncaringly.

"A…chocolate coin candy?"

"Yes! Now, go get a pencil. We need to use your never-before-explained drawing talent to make this thing look real."

Kim shot up an eyebrow. "Did I mention you did help?"

LaTEr…:O

"Zordon, I…I don't know! I think my powers are…fading!"

Tommy stood in the middle of the command center, looking high up at Zordon with a face full of fear.

He didn't understand what happened, one moment he was battling the giant monster that once was Trini's bra, and the next he was screaming in pain as he involuntarily de-morphed.

"Tommy, as always, I know the answer to this predicament." Zordon's voice echoed stridently. "It's because Rita hates you and she's jealous that I, the floating blue head trapped in a time warp, am yet again kicking her ass...without legs."

Alpha came waddling by, nodding in confirmation. Unfortunately for Tommy, his head went to look at the creepy robot too rapidly, and he gave himself whiplash from the change of position on his neck.

"Aww MAN! That hurts!"

"Shut up," Zordon snapped. "Go back to the juice bar with the others and sit around and skip school like you usually do, then go to your one class with the same teacher like usual; I'll look further into your power coin mishap."

Tommy winced as he rubbed his neck, "Thanks Zordon."

After his conversation with Zordon, Tommy teleported to the Juice Bar quite conspicuously (because this show currently lacks the money to have more than 3 sets)

To his misfortune, his landing bumped him into a caterer, who sent a cake flying out of his hands.

"#!" The caterer screamed, causing a the kids to cry in the shock of such language.

The cake landed on Bulk, his buddy Skull laughing hilariously at the accident. The crowd seemed to neglect Bulk slamming the cake into his windpipe, actually _choking_ him. They continued to laugh, also ignoring Tommy's abrupt, green, flashing arrival.

Zack waved the Ranger over to his table, "Hey Tommy, did Zordon say anything about you losing your powers?"

"No, he thinks Rita's up to something," he casually said, sighing with his hands in pockets.

Suddenly, Bulk collapsed in front of them all and onto their table.

Jason blinked. "You guys want to go work out?"

Zack shrugged, "Sure."

"Cool." Tommy, Jason and Zack left an unconscious Bulk for actor-replacement.

Back at the moon palace

"WHY does everyone always blame me??? The one time I could actually care _less _about them, I get blamed! You know what? Goldar! Bring me my old foot-smelling candle! I have a trick up my sleeve."

...Rita blinked and grabbed her mouth to make it stop moving.

"But my all-knowing mistress-"

"Did I ASK you to talk, you giant ugly baboon?"

Goldar growled, bringing her the candle with a plugged nose as Squat and Babboo (who appeared to be _nothing as usual_) waited in the back, staring at Scorpina's emotionless face.

Taking her beloved and craftily colored green candle, Rita began to say everything she just said, backwards, creating a strange gibberish until the candle was lit by her ancient, disgusting breath.

"Ha! Take that green ranger!"

Scorpina gagged in repulsion, "Did someone just DIE?" Her face remained blank.

"Quiet you annoying woman!" Silence echoed the Palace as Rita's lips continued to move for the next minute.

MeANWHile

On his bed in his room, Jason contemplated replacing his own power coin with Tommy's as he played Nintendo.

"Maybe I can just like...take the shield and put it on my suit...or maybe I can trick Tommy into letting me wear it!" A loud explosion was heard through his TV, as he killed Browser and saved Princess Peach.

"We'll see who Kim calls for then!"

Next to him, Jason's bedroom door flew open to reveal an adult standing in the hallway. He politely put down his game controller and stood to face the man, because those are manners that all teenagers have.

"Hi Jason, I am your conveniently displaced father who is never home and never seems to wonder how you are home one second and gone the next, and that you have an atrocious wardrobe of red."

An uncomfortable silence fell between the two.

"Anyway, I come baring news of a new plot twist--I have to leave to travel to Japan...for...er...stock marketing? Your mom will also disappear, so you'll have to...uhm...well, supervise yourself like usual."

Jason blinked, nodded, and walked towards the door to slam it in his father's face.

"Now," he twirled the Dragon coin in his fingers, "What to do with you..."

XD

Back at the Command Center, Zordon got a whiff of Rita's foul breath. After gagging and coughing profusely, he called for the creepy robot.

"Alpha! My senses tell me that Rita is planning something with the candle I got her for Christmas at that party where she discovered alcoholic eggnog for the first time. I fear she is up to no good. Contact the rangers at once."

Alpha ran in circles screaming, "Ayi ayi ayi ayi ayi ay-"

"Damn it, just do it!" Zordon growled and muttered under his breath something about robot body parts in Billy's bed.

_Beep do beep bop beep beep._

Tommy answered his communicator immediately. "Yes Zordon? You need me to teleport to the Command Center? I'm on my way!"

He teleported out, leaving a crowd of confused shoppers in Barnes & Noble to stare in shock.

Unfortunately, Billy, who ws not wearing his communicator, is teleported out of the shower into the command center, still in the middle of the verse to _'Pretty Fly for a white Guy.'_

"Oh freaking Zedd!" Zordon spun his head around at the appalling sight.

Kim gasped, "..._totally _not what I wanted to be _debriefed_ on…"

Zack tilted his head to the side, as if he was trying to get a better look.

"Ayi ayi ayi!" Alpha came running in, at first trying to find numerous directions to which he could shield the nude Ranger, but eventually just decided on hugging him.

Zordon cleared his throat, "Rangers, it seems as if Rita has lit a candle that contains Tommy's powers. I have neglected to inform you of this previously, despite the fact Tommy has been a Power Ranger for months now, because the more plot twists this show has the more free channels I get on the viewing globe."

Jason threw his foot on the ground, "I can't believe her!"

"That's _so_ low," Trini whispered, getting in her one line of the episode.

"Yeah man, what're we gonna do Zordon?" Zack asked, making sure to throw in his catchy 'man,' 'yo,' 'homie,' or 'aw' into his sentence. Alpha twitched in response.

"I fear Rita is after the Green Ranger's power and is still upset that I, the floating blue head trapped in a time warp, am still kicking her ass with no legs."

Billy blinked, opened his mouth, shut it, and blinked again.

Zordon took the chance to continue, "Therefore, because we know she is after Tommy, we'll send him out to fight by himself and allow her to capture him so that he can lose his powers while Goldar allows him to fight."

"That sounds like a good idea, Zordon; but do you think it'll work?" Tommy questioned, stepping in front of Jason and assuming the leader role.

Jason's face turned red with anger (no pun intended) and obviously bristled by Tommy's boldness, stepped up; "Of course it will; IT'S MORPHIN TIME!"

"…there's no monster to-"

"I _said,_" Jason yelled, "IT'S MORPHIN TIME!"

Alpha turned to Zordon and whispered, "They get paid by the catch phrase."

The rangers morphed and Tommy took on the conveniently placed monster while the other rangers (now seemingly 20 times weaker than usual) struggled with the putties.

"Zordon, we can't let Rita take the Green Ranger powers!" Jason exclaimed, realizing his new coin could very well be losing power instead of Tommy's chocolate one

Zordon spoke through the communicators. "I agree, Jason; therefore, we must get Billy and not Alpha, the fully functional flawless robot, to prepare a machine that could land you between dimensions but will miraculously put you in the Dark Dimension. You must grab the candle so that Alpha can reprint my receipt and I can get my money back for the candle."

Later that day, the Rangers sat around uselessly as Billy worked on the dimension portals in his lab.

"How's it going, Billy?" Jason asked, making sure that he looked as if he gave a darn about the team.

Billy wiped his greasy hands on his pants, "Well, it's coming along virtuously so far. I think if I can merely unite these dual wires then -"

"Okay, shut up, no one listens to you." Jason walked away, leaving Billy to mutter about secret revenge on large tubed heads and teammates.

"Rangers!" Zordon spoke over the communicators. "Goldar has acquired Tommy's power coin when I carelessly sent him out to battle, not informing you until the last minute when he's in dire trouble."

The garage fell quiet.

"You should…uh, go out and help him."

Zack jumped up. "Oh, right!"

:-O

The Rangers teleported to Angel Grove park where they were greeted by the sight of Goldar and Tommy facing off.

"Hey guys!" Tommy waved.

Goldar also waved, "Hello puny worthless Rangers!"

"This show is so retarded." Zack's head fell to his chest with a sigh.

Goldar went back to face Tommy, "Now that I have your deliciously smelling power coin, I will finally have lunch Green Ranger!"

"He's insane!" Billy shouted.

Tommy launched forward, "No way Goldar, you're not getting your filthy paws on my power coin!"

Just as Goldar was about to eat the coin, an outburst from Kim caught him off guard.

"Oh my gosh! What's that?" She squealed at the sudden white bunny that came into the scene, walking on two legs and heading towards Goldar.

The Trix rabbit slapped Goldar and took the coin from his hands. "Silly Goldar, power coins are for rangers!"

Tommy collapsed from the exhaustion of his power strip, his conscious wavering in and out as the last thing he heard was the raspy voice of Goldar saying,

"Can I have your autograph rabbit!?"

Command Center

"Rangers, you have succeeded at retrieving the power coin from Rita. Unfortunately, the five hours you spent petting the Trix rabbit allowed Rita to realize she can just blow out the candle and Tommy's powers are now hers."

Kim gaped, "No! Zordon, there has to be something we can do! I love Tommy, he can't die!"

Trini, lying in a fetal position as she suffered from an allergic reaction towards bunnies, nodded in agreement. "Thew mst ze somthwg ve can do!" She muffled through swollen lips.

"There is. Tommy must relinquish his power coin to another Ranger, thus the transfer will be broken."

Silent, Jason whispered under his breath, "Friggin sweeeet!" Yet, no one seemed to hear him but us; because that's how TV is.

Tommy sighed, looking down at his belt with defeat. He thought back on all the good times he had as a Ranger, all the memories he would be giving up. The music of the past softly filled his ears as he -

"Damn it Kimberly, I don't want to hear you sing!" Tommy snapped at Zack and Kim, sitting in a corner as one played the guitar and both sung something about going down the street.

The Ranger sighed, "Fine, it's the only thing to do. Rita can't have-...wait a minute…" Tommy cringed at the chocolate covering his fingers, what _was_ supposed to be his power coin.

"Zordon, it's all...melted!"

Jason whistled innocently. No one gave a crap that he started to randomly whistle besides Alpha, who malfunctioned at the noise. Trini cried at Alpha's pain, but her sobs could only be heard in the background as the camera panned on Tommy, despite the fact Zordon was talking.

Billy interrupted his long, drawn out lecture though. "Wait a second...so all that drama and apprehension over Tommy's death was for nothing? Look at him! He's lost his powers and he's not deceased!"

Silence filled the Command Center.

Zordon finally looked down at Jason, "Did you get my receipt or not?"

_**To Be Continued...**_

Tommy goes back in time to find the dark chocolate almond coin!

**This fanfiction has abruptly been cancelled by **_**The Powers That Be**_**. It will be removed within the next 24 hours.**


End file.
